How to Forgive

 

 

 

In order to heal from past traumatic experiences, you must master the skills of forgiveness. Many times, we hear that forgiveness is not for others but for us, which is true. However, can you forgive others when you haven’t forgiven yourself? The answer is NO. No, because you cannot give someone what you don’t have. A scripture in the Bible tells us to do unto others as we do ourselves.

Most times if we examine ourselves and check, we give to others expecting they will give back to us. Most of the time, when we function in that mindset, it is because we are broken and haven’t spent time to heal from past trauma, hurt, disappointment, etc. If we honestly think about it, we will allow people to miss treat and misuse us, because we haven’t exercise treating ourselves with kindness, gentles, forgiveness, and grace.

We must first understand that others will treat us the way we treat ourselves. This is minus our child-like mindset. When we are children, we act like it, but when we become adults, we have to put childish things away. That’s why you need to seek professional help to heal and become a better version of yourself. Some of us were raised to put everyone else's needs before ours, which is wrong and can harm us in the long run.

We must understand that when we become people pleasers, we are ignoring our emotional self and leaving ourselves vulnerable for people to misuse, abuse, and mistreat us. The key is to work on yourself and invest in yourself to become a healthier version of yourself. One way to work on yourself is to forgive yourself and everyone who has hurt you.

Forgiveness does not mean you will not remember what the person has done. But rather it means you can talk about the situation without feeling hurt, grief or pain within your HEART. You will be able to see the person and greet them. That does not mean you will let them back into your circle (in your circle is base on trust, trust must be earn through demonstration of a person character) but instead you have set yourself free from bondage. You must get to a place where you stop allowing people and things to upset you. Learn to work on loving self, forgive self, and then work through forgiving others.

 

Some steps to forgiveness:

1.    Repent (if you are Christian)

2.    Forgive yourself for all the things you have done to yourself and what others have done to you

3.    Forgive others

4.    Have grace with yourself

5.    Be patient with yourself

Remember, only you can make a difference in your own life. You must take back you power by chosen to become better for you. Remember my favorite phrase, “You cannot give to someone what you don’t have, and they cannot give to you what they don’t have.” Also, remember people cannot give you what they don’t have and likewise you. You can only choose to receive what they have by your choice, and likewise them. So today I want to encourage to begin you own journey to work on healing and become a better version of self. Are you ready to make any healthier choices for yourself?

Stay bless. 

 https://www.kerensagulliver.com/post/how-to-forgive